In a very weird case of the six degrees of separation, Charlie Sheen and Nicolas Cage are somehow involved with the same court case involving a theft at Cage’s ex-girlfriend’s home. The story is so full of twists and turns it resembles a Hollywood movie, but it is all real.
A few weeks ago, police arrested a handyman who reportedly stole some computers and a box of pictures from Nicolas Cage’s ex-girlfriend’s home earlier this year. The pictures were said to include lewd photos of Cage involved in some sex acts. Cage denied the photos existed and that was that. Then all of a sudden, we hear that a sex tape starring Charlie Sheen was also on one of the computers stolen. Wait, what? What is the connection? Why would Cage’s ex, Christina Fulton, have a sex tape starring Charlie Sheen? Hard telling, but somehow the handyman knew about it. Apparently, the handyman, Ricardo Orozco and another man, Darwin Vela, approached Charlie Sheen’s team and asked what they would pay to have the sex tape remain private.
Well, as you can imagine when blackmail is tossed around, the authorities were alerted and after months of investigating, Orozco was arrested. Vela was the star witness against the handyman’s crimes. Vela was supposed to testify on Thursday. In a completely bizarre twist of events, Vela took his dog for a walk on Tuesday and never returned. His girlfriend says their dog returned and there was blood on the leash.
Needless to say, the key witness didn’t show up to the trial on Thursday throwing a bit of a wrench into the situation. And then on Friday, Darwin Vela showed up bruised and bloodied near a police station. He claims he was kidnapped and held captive for 3 days. When he left to walk the dog he didn’t take his cell phone so apparently was unable to call for help. Police are still sorting through the details and are not saying one way or another if the kidnapping story is true.
It certainly sounds weird. A Charlie Sheen sex tape isn’t exactly that exciting and certainly doesn’t warrant all the fuss. Martin Singer, Sheen’s attorney, says he met with Vela, Orozco and Vela’s fiancé about the sex tape. The meeting was cut short because the tape was never produced. Oddly enough, that is the same story with the Nicolas Cage explicit photos. There is no proof they exist.
These three sound like the world’s worst criminals. What morons steal computers with the hopes of pictures of Nicolas Cage involved in some sex act or Charlie Sheen having sex? Nobody cares enough and these guys don’t exactly have stellar reputations to protect. It is highly unlikely they would pay millions of dollars to keep them quiet. And then for the evidence to just disappear. It is seriously one of the most convoluted stories ever spun. It is so bizarre it almost has to be real.
The man who was supposedly kidnapped and beaten because he was going to testify against a burglary suspect has got to be the strangest thing ever. Who knew Charlie Sheen and Nicolas Cage were still that relevant. It would have been different if the alleged pictures and video were of stars like Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise. They don’t call it Hollyweird for nothing.