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Denver County to Host Vanilla "Pot Contests" at Annual Summer Fair

The move to include pot in this year's festivities is a triumphant first, but it's boring enough to discourage anyone who isn't a connoisseur.
Denver County to Host Vanilla "Pot Contests" at Annual Summer Fair
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With the recent legalization of marijuana in Colorado, weed has thankfully become much less of a taboo, at least at the State level. 

Case in point: Denver County is hosting their summer fair this year, as per usual, only there will be a new theme of contests added to this year’s roster: cannabis.

No, it’s not “Dunk the guy in the water, and take home a free pot plant!”, though surely people would be lining up in droves and driving from out of state to get there (if they aren’t already).  And no, they’re not smoking vast quantities of pot to determine which strain is the best and/or strongest.  (Could you imagine the contact high?  You could probably get stoned from the tops of the mountains.)  As a matter of fact, there won’t even be any weed on site at all at the fairgrounds.  (Cue the booing.) 

You’re probably asking yourself, so then, what are they doing?  Well, the weed will be placed into nine different categories, including live plants, homemade bongs, homemade roach clips, and hemp clothing and/or fabrics.  The plants will then be judged by the quality of the plant itself, not its potency or how many joints you can roll from it.  Before you fret - there are other contests performed in the style of the Cannabis Cup in Amsterdam for testing their quality and flavor.

All of the judging will be performed off-site (which, I’m sorry, just promotes an image of everyone smoking the entries), and the winning entries will be displayed through photographs.  Those entries will then be entered into what is called a “Pot Pavillion,” which will only be open to folks who are over the age of 21. 

Yep, even just photographs of pot are only permitted to be viewed by folks old enough to drink.  So, if you’re a fair-goer and you’re only 18 years old, you’ll have to go to the internet for your daily fix of pot photos.  Because when I was 18, I know I was looking up pot photos on the daily.

In all seriousness, fair organizers wanted to remain respectful of families with small children who will be attending the fair, and apparently the pot contests are being held close enough to the rabbit and goat contests, at which, of course, children are expected to be present.  Organizers do not want said children toddling over to the pot tables from the animal tables.

There will also be contests for such marijuana-laced foods as pot brownies and other “funny” foods.  This is the first time that pot plants will be eligible for their own blue ribbons, right next to your neighbor’s homemade apple pie.

So what do you get if you win?  Well, the aforementioned blue ribbon, and $20.  You may be thinking “why don’t the pot plants get the green ribbon?”  Because environmental projects have already laid claim to it and hey, who can blame them?  Their projects help clean up the muck we have made of the environment - let them have the green ribbon.

And, get this, live “joint rolling” will be part of the festivities, however it will be performed with an oregano substitute, not pot.  Prizes will be given out for how fast entrants can roll a fatty.

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